Spam

[ksmith]

Not blog spam, but regular email spam. Two messages, one after the other, for “GenieBra” and “Ninja Kitchen System” led to some weird word juxtapositioning. “NinjaBra.” The mind boggles. “NinjaGenie.” Too obvious. “BraKitchenSystem.” Puts a whole new spin on “12-cup coffeemaker.”

Mirrored from Kristine Smith.

Comments

[e-moon60.livejournal.com]

NinjaBra: For you ladies in black with the silk wrapped over most of your face, you know that the underpinnings of success include stabilization of random motions that might unwanted reveal your presence or add unwanted randomness to the exquisitely timed maneuvers necessary to the practicing ninja. Nor can the ninja of the XX persuasion afford to protrude in any way that becomes a target for another's blades.

You need NinjaBra, the only bra designed specially for the woman of Ninja Persuasion, a bra that, while not damaging those delicate tissues so useful for seductive purposes and personal pleasure, prevents them from in any way inhibiting movement, changing the center of gravity, or presenting a possibility of discovery or a focus of attack by other ninjas or even the ordinary breast-grabbing slimeball. NinjaBra will enhance your grace, your speed, your accuracy of movement, painlessly and harmlessly, allowing you to disappear into shadows and slice space and time as easily as your ninja brothers.

No more tugging and pulling, no more struggling with clasps: NinjaBra goes on easily and quickly and is so comfortable that you can work in its embrace several days without needing to remove it. It is odorless and masks the scent of any sweat within 18 inches. Easy to wash, instant-drying, made of a modern high-tech fabric almost invisible to the naked eye and totally invisible to radar, infrared, and other detection systems, impervious to bullets and blades, the NinjaBra is a ninja lady's best friend.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

I am not worthy.

[e-moon60.livejournal.com]

Of course you're worthy. You were my inspiration. How much worthier can you get?

I'm sure Jani had a NinjaBra somewhere in her life and has been wanting to find another ever since.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

I think Jani would like NinjaCloth for her entire wardrobe.

[e-moon60.livejournal.com]

See, you did it again:

Available for the first time from the makers of NinjaBra, the high-tech material from which the NinjaBra is made, now available to selected bespoke tailors for fashioning into garments for those in the security services. Your clients can now benefit from the research and development that went into this amazing fabric.

Note: Restrictions on the sale of garments containing more than 2 square centimeter of this fabric to [redacted] agencies. Failure to declare employment by and association with [redacted] may result in penalties up to and including lifelong imprisonment without possibility of parole, mind-scaping,,,,

(no, it's after midnight and I just finished singing the Faure _Requiem_--I'm too beat to pull this off again...)

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

Saw your SFFNet post--glad it went well.

Go to sleep.

Jani says Thanks! for the new outfit.