It's hard to tell how much is reality and how much is social attitudes and conditioning, but I do think our culture notices violence at a lower level in women, and fears it more--it's "unnatural." I don't have the stats with me, but have been told by quite a few lawyers that women are treated more harshly in the justice system, for the same level of violent crime, than are men. In one case in the next county, a woman was found guilty when her ex-husband, who had court-ordered visitation, drove drunk with the children in the car and all were killed. The argument was successfully made that she should have known he was drunk and not allowed the visitation *even though* doing so would have risked her having any parental rights, under the current system of determining custody. (She would have been disobeying a court order to allow him to take the children for a day, and most judges are hostile to women who refuse to allow ex-spouses visitation for any reason.)
What is considered "overreacting" and "out of control" definitely varies with gender: men are not expected to be "in control" (in the sense of being quiet and nonthreatening) all the time. Men can bluster and yell and express anger at even minor annoyances and it's shrugged off. Women are expected to be quiet and polite in all circumstances, so an equivalent amount of noise or behavior from a woman is considered way over the line. OTOH, there are both biological differences and the result of social conditioning that may (may!) tend to women being less controlled in violent situations (though having seen a lot of men in violent situations, I don't think "controlled" is a good label to hang on them, either. Slamming your fist through a window or mirror is not really an example of controlled violence.
Women are socialized that they must not be violent unless their life or the life of a family member is at stake--and then it's no holds barred. Having been told that from an early age, and having been given no other instruction, it's not surprising that when they are violent they go all-out. Today's younger women have had slightly different socialization, including the chance to play sports and learn martial arts. Since I played sports before it was legally required to give girls a chance, I can say that playing contact sports does provide some practice in thinking even in the midst of action. Any martial art (including our kind of fencing in that) under good instruction provides instruction and practice in thinking while acting, and from what I've heard, women are quite as capable of learning the discipline of such arts as men--while also learning how to use what they're taught.
In dealing with law-enforcement in a self-defense situation, a woman is always at a disadvantage...if she is ineffective, it will be assumed she didn't try; if she is too effective, it will be assumed that she initiated the assault and planned to kill or severely injure the "victim." (That women can be murderers is not in doubt.) Many police believe that if a woman being threatened uses a firearm for defense, she will inevitably shoot a full clip. If she doesn't, then she was planning something--she wasn't really scared, because scared women "go too far." (Watching video of actual police behavior, it's clear that not all male police officers refrain from "going too far" and empty their clips, too.)
I'm seeing so much "damned if we do/damned if we don't" in all this that it's frightening. Angering. Crazy-making. Because unless societal perceptions change, women aren't going to be able to develop the ability to come to terms with the use of violence and their relationship with it, because society as a whole will not be able to deal with the change, and the backlash could be tremendous...especially if matters can be twisted to serve either party's political ends.
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2010-07-06 01:20 pm (UTC)What is considered "overreacting" and "out of control" definitely varies with gender: men are not expected to be "in control" (in the sense of being quiet and nonthreatening) all the time. Men can bluster and yell and express anger at even minor annoyances and it's shrugged off. Women are expected to be quiet and polite in all circumstances, so an equivalent amount of noise or behavior from a woman is considered way over the line. OTOH, there are both biological differences and the result of social conditioning that may (may!) tend to women being less controlled in violent situations (though having seen a lot of men in violent situations, I don't think "controlled" is a good label to hang on them, either. Slamming your fist through a window or mirror is not really an example of controlled violence.
Women are socialized that they must not be violent unless their life or the life of a family member is at stake--and then it's no holds barred. Having been told that from an early age, and having been given no other instruction, it's not surprising that when they are violent they go all-out. Today's younger women have had slightly different socialization, including the chance to play sports and learn martial arts. Since I played sports before it was legally required to give girls a chance, I can say that playing contact sports does provide some practice in thinking even in the midst of action. Any martial art (including our kind of fencing in that) under good instruction provides instruction and practice in thinking while acting, and from what I've heard, women are quite as capable of learning the discipline of such arts as men--while also learning how to use what they're taught.
In dealing with law-enforcement in a self-defense situation, a woman is always at a disadvantage...if she is ineffective, it will be assumed she didn't try; if she is too effective, it will be assumed that she initiated the assault and planned to kill or severely injure the "victim." (That women can be murderers is not in doubt.) Many police believe that if a woman being threatened uses a firearm for defense, she will inevitably shoot a full clip. If she doesn't, then she was planning something--she wasn't really scared, because scared women "go too far." (Watching video of actual police behavior, it's clear that not all male police officers refrain from "going too far" and empty their clips, too.)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-07 12:59 am (UTC)