Insufficiently entertaining

[ksmith]

That's how I feel when I check my Friends list for whatever reason and find that someone has un-Friended me. I know this is a big place, and folks skip around for whatever reason. But I feel like I'm holding forth at a party only to find people yawning and checking their watches. Thank you thank you. 'preciate it. Words are my life, after all.



Some people can write quite good posts containing litcrit or discussions about writing, drawing out the conversation and keeping it flowing. Beyond the occasional word count or character-based mutter, I don't think you'll find much of that here. I'm not particularly good at criticism, or about explaining how I write or what type of writer I am. I admire the folks who can boil down methods or styles to a few facile sentences--the ability to define succinctly is a gift. I just write--it Happens. Bubbles up in the backbrain and downloads, usually early in the morning. If I had to consciously think out all the things I've written, I don't think I'd have finished one book, much less four. And the fact that I can't readily define what I do or how I do it makes me feel as though it's something outside me, beyond my control, and therefore not really mine. This conflicts quite nicely with the feeling that I'm not really a pro if I can't turn it off and on like a faucet. After all, it's a job, isn't it? Writing, as has been driven into all our heads with 40-lb sledges over the past however many years, is a Business. Product is Consumed by the Marketplace at a rapid clip, and my job is to kick out more product in a timely (more or less) manner.

So here I sit, wrestling with that which isn't really mine, trying to control that which does as it damned well pleases. Talking about crabapples really is simpler.

Comments

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

I frequently find myself intimidated by some of the people on my f-list, so I clam up and don't say a word. Either that, or I censor myself. I think that's why I'm spending more and more time on my fandom journal these days.

Part of the reason things dwindle is my fault. I find that I tend to lose interest in online conversations rather quickly. I'll consider responding to someone's post either here or on SFFNet, and just as I get to around the middle of the thing, I figure "hell with it" and delete it. I have written the occasional lengthy response, but my usual feeling is that if I'm going to put out this much effort, I should be getting paid. Which isn't always proper. I'm here to have fun, after all.

[windrose.livejournal.com]

I'll consider responding to someone's post either here or on SFFNet, and just as I get to around the middle of the thing, I figure "hell with it" and delete it.

I do that, too, but usually it's because I'm just too damned tired to bother. Either that, or someone else already said pretty much what I was going to say, and I hate leaving responses like "what she said" or "word".