The first step toward dealing with a problem is admitting you have one

[ksmith]

This morning, I finished a day job task that I really, really dislike. I'd known for several days that it needed doing, but I kept putting it off and putting it off until I realized I was meeting with my manager this afternoon expressly to go over said task. So, I completed it with a few hours to spare. Felt so pleased.

I do this a lot with deadlines--I've bemoaned the fact before. It occurred to me after I finished the day job thing, though, that I may be doing it on purpose. I *like* the feeling of feeling pleased, the sensation of the lifted weight. And the closer to the deadline a project moves, the heavier the weight, and the better it feels when--

You see where this is going? Whether as a spur for creativity, or because it feels so good when it stops, I go out of my way to get myself into these pressing situations. Even if it's not that onerous a project. Even when I know that if I just got down and did it, it would be over in an hour and I could move on.

I got my tax stuff to the CPA early this year, and mailed off the completed returns to the revenooers a few days ago. That felt *really* good. Every time I see an ad for tax services, I can say to myself, Done.

I am hoping that the realization that Early can feel as good as OMG! Gonna Be Late! will compel lizard brain to--forgive the metaphor homogenation--change its spots.

Comments

[affreca.livejournal.com]

I fear that has become my habit also. Especially with this damn thesis proposal.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

It's not the best of habits, at least for me.

[msagara.livejournal.com]

When Tanya Huff and I were both working full-time at the bookstore, I noticed that we had diametrically opposed triggers about writing and deadlines.

Tanya, for a deadline that was greater than 2 months away? She would fiddle with words, but frequently watch television and pull lint off the couch (she had a monster, nubbled cloth couch, which, given she also had 5 cats seemed an invitation to scratching post to me, the very allergic to cats person, but I digress). Then, as she hit the 2 month mark? She would buckle down and write like a crazy person, and get everything done. She -had- been doing the work, but really really slowly and without as much focus.

I was the exact opposite.

With a deadline a year away, I could write, and write well, but as the deadline approached and the book wasn't finished, I grew increasingly anxious because what if the deadline happened and I wasn't finished yet? or, alternately, what if it's NOT good enough by then. So I would ... slow down, and the writing became a much bigger struggle. The stress and anxiety did not help me at all.

So for her, it made the deadline seem real, and immediate, and it focused her (which sounds more like what you're doing, I think?), and for me... ugh, ulcers. I have no idea if this has changed for her, process-wise, or not; it's not something I would think of asking another writer, so I was only aware of it because we spent 32 hours a week in the same place.

I think I wrote all of one of my books before I realized that I had not, in fact, sold it to my editor, and I phoned and she said "You must be wrong -- we must have bought that", but, in fact, we had both kind of assumed that it had been acquired. And it hadn't. So.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

So for her, it made the deadline seem real, and immediate, and it focused her (which sounds more like what you're doing, I think?),

Apparently, at least in part. I need the fear, and then the rush after the fear fades. Because the sensation of being able to ceck the little ticky box next to the word DONE is very, very nice.