I don't often dream about writing

[ksmith]

...except when I do.

Strange dream last night. I know I hadn't had contact with my editor for a while, but had turned in a Jani book some time before. I forget if I was in a store or what, but someone shows me the latest Jani book, and the cover...looked like something from chick lit hell--peppermint stripe, swirly lettering, spindly-legged partial figures.

To make matters worse, they had split the book in two, so I had two Chick Lit Hell covers to deal with.

In other news, had the last of three self-defense classes today. They were offered by the day job, and run by the Tae Kwan Do club. I did learn a few things. Today, we practiced what to do if grabbed from behind, and I will say that the sensation of an arm in a stranglehold around your neck stays with you.

Comments

[daveamongus.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Yeah. I actually think it's a little more unsettling when you're a big guy like moi, and you realize you still would not be able to brute your way out of it.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

That would be unsettling.

We were taught to grab fingers and twist. Jam elbows into abdomens. There's only so much you can do in three hours, but we did go over some stuff I hadn't seen before.

Lesson the First is to try to stay out of trouble to begin with. Unfortunately, that's not always possible.

[daveamongus.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... I think that's the radial nerve there between the ulna and radius. Jam your fingers in there it's supposed to be painful enough to make the holder want to straighten their arm.

All part of "Semper Fu," the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program. :)

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... I think that's the radial nerve there between the ulna and radius. Jam your fingers in there it's supposed to be painful enough to make the holder want to straighten their arm.

I think we went over that very briefly--a place on the forearm that you can jam fingertips or knuckles into.

All part of "Semper Fu," the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program. :)

I don't want to tell you the instructions that Dad used to give me during my high school years.

Semper Fu indeed.

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

Oh god.

If the trend of me inheriting your covers continues...

*quakes in fear of even dreamtime chick lit covers*

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

The chick lit title of CODE OF CONDUCT would have been ALL THIS AND EVAN, TOO! (insert swirly peppermint-striped font here).

Not to make you, like, scream in the night or anything...

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

I'll never sleep again. *g*

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

What *could* one do with HAMMERED?

"EVERY TOOL IN THE BOX"

"TWO FOR THE SHE SAW"

I'll go quietly...

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

I'll be under the quilt.

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

What's freaking me out is that I work on both kaygo's books and chick-lit!

I shall endeavor to make sure that the insides, at least, are not confused with each other.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

Jani tucked her shooter into the pocket of her coverall, taking care as always to avoid her reflection in the mirror.

Oh hell--just get it over with. She took a deep breath, another, then turned to Lucien, who sat on the bed pulling on his boots. "I want you to tell me the truth." She held her arms out from her sides. "Does this outfit make me look fat?"

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

Lucien told her she looked great. "I can't imagine why you worry about that sort of stuff, honey. You always look great." [1]

"Well, okay, if you say so," Jani said. "Now I'm off to that job interview at the magazine. When they hire me, my life will be oh so glamorous, filled with Beautiful People and glitzy parties, wherein I am certain to meet a Famous Manly Man who is tired of all the fakery and just wants to settle down. Of course, he'll have to wait until I realize for myself that it's all fakery. It's great to be an assistant copyeditor at a fashion magazine!"

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

Dammit! Here I sit, dealing with the ever-expanding ball of cr*p that is my day, when it hits me that if I had just made Jani Kilian an assistant copyeditor of a fashion magazine instead of a hybridizing, crime-fighting, justice-seeking, socially inept middle-aged woman with no clothes sense, I could have retired years ago to a life of leisure on Cape Cod, surrounded by photos of myself taken from the pages of W and lovingly framed by one of my army of well-muscled proteges.

Do you think it's too late to tweak the series a little? I don't think my editor would mind, do you?

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

I'm sure if you point out to her that Certain Romance Editors around here get all the respect and promotions, she would be happy to go along with it! Of course, she would have to get rid of the Tacky Dragon Fountain Of Doom in her office, and replace it with fresh-cut flowers every day. I'm not sure you could convince her to do that. Let's not get extreme, here.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

Ah, but I think if I promised that one of my well-muscled proteges would deliver said flowers each day, she might go along.

(Tacky Dragon Fountain of Doom? I hadn't heard of this.)

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

If you get a chance to come to NY, ask to see her office. She has an enormous fountain with a most tacky Chinese dragon, with red light-up eyes. I don't think it actually blows smoke, but if it did, I wouldn't be surprised.

And yes, she bought it for the tacky factor. It is a marvellous thing.

And she won't take you up on the well-muscled proteges, I sure will.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

AAARRGGGHHH!!!

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

One of the things I thought about as I wrote that scene was how different Jani's concerns were from those on the laundry lists you usually see in fashion mags.

It's kinda refreshing.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

Jani's view on such things would be...amusing....

[janni.livejournal.com]

Before Ghost Horse came out, I had all sorts of anxiety dreams about the cover.

The one I most remember was the one where they decided--and this was after I'd even seen the quite-lovely art, though before the book was printed--to replace the cover of the book with one from the Babysitter's Club.

And then they decided they'd better leave my name off, too, because the book would sell better that way.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

Up to now, my writing anxiety dreams have centered around conventions--missing trains, planes, panels. Trying to set up times to meet people, yet constantly missing them. This was the first cover dream. Hope it's the last.

[torrilin.livejournal.com]

Have never gotten to a point in my martial arts classes where they covered strangleholds from behind... it does vividly remind me of the scene in Gaudy Night where Peter teaches Harriet what to do. That scene left me with the strong impression that I never wanted to be strangled. Ever. Not even with a really cool dog collar :P.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

If someone gets their arm around your neck and knows what they're doing...it's not good. You have 6-8 seconds before you black out. You try to wedge the point of your chin so that it's between your neck and their arm. Then you start finger twisting, elbowing, and foot stomping like crazy. Or do what Dave mentioned, if you know where to squeeze.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

Grabbing and twisting, good. A friend trained in martial arts assured me that only a rough brush is uncomfortable. It doesn't take a lot to have a man squeaking. Also, slamming heel of shoe on instep--you can break an instep doing that. Snapping back a finger, also effective.

The worst, and hence best...go for the eyes. Rare is the individual who will not try to break free of a screaming banshee going for his eyes. (You must be wiling to go to the mat on this one. Throw up later.)

Probably best to decide on one-two and don't plan on having air for three. I realized in the last five years if I ever get jumped again, I will get hurt--but so will whomever jumped me. I want them having nightmares for years about it...

Toe Tu

[leemc85615.livejournal.com]

For the next level... get thee hence to wherever Annika is taking shooting lessons.
I"m a firm believer in practicing Glock Fu or even .357 Reach out and touch someone before they can grab you.