On why there will be no New Years resolutions in 2009

[ksmith]

I was poking through old posts as I cleaned up my Tags list, and came upon my resolutions for 2008. One was my pledge to not get into the time crunch with this wip that I had with all my other books; this issue I would solve by writng every day. Another was my pledge to get more organized, excising clutter from my life by collating receipts on a timely basis and in general working at it a little every day. Like the writing.

After I wiped my eyes--my laughter alarmed the dogs--I realized that the things that mean the most to me are the things I'm most inclined to make resolutions about and that those resolutions are the ones most likely to be broken. I did write most every day through late Spring--skipping July, which was a Bad Month--and picking up the pace profoundly in August. Even took two weeks leave from the day job in October to work on the book. And all that time, the feeling grew that I was on the wrong track. The story was dragging. Way, way, waaay too much set up was going on. With the Moving Forward, not so much. Asked alpha readers for feedback on first few chapters. Asked editor for feedback on even more chapters. Editor made comment that helped trigger the major plot surgery that was performed in November. Bear in mind that due date for book was 1 December, and I was still reworking the first third. This included tossing most all I had written during my leave, but I've whined about that already. So, I pretty much followed my resolution, and it didn't matter. Book worked itself out in its own good time anyway, and I still wound up backed into a time corner. Because that's apparently how my brain likes it. Stupid brain.

So. Book was late. And all during that time, the clutter around me increased because I couldnt justify taking the time away from the book. I'm getting to the clutter now. Catalogs and magazines have been tossed, but about half the year's worth of receipts need to be sorted and filed. Tax packet had already arrived from accountant, so I should probably combine the two functions. I should tabulate receipts on a monthly basis, I know, and I swear every year that this is what I will do. And I never ever do it.

I give up.

In other news, I did clean my bedroom this morning, reshelving books and cleaning off the tops of the armoire and the dresser, bookcase and end table. An embarrassing amount of dust was removed. Did laundry. Made lamb chili, which is currently simmering away. Meanwhile, the writing nudge is at my elbow, nudging me. A Jani story, possibly a novelette but more likely a novella. I may work on it even though I'm not sure what I would do with it.

Comments

[e-moon60.livejournal.com]

Oh, that is SO familiar. "I will--" "I will not--" "I will do X every day and this will fix Y--"

Nope. We are who we are and any "improvement" is incremental and (to us anyway) unnoticeable.

FWIW, I think you're fine and your books are amazing.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

Nope. We are who we are and any "improvement" is incremental and (to us anyway) unnoticeable.

Yeah. The only difference with this book was that I was at least able to change course before writing the whole thing. It was as if I combined my usual "trash the first 200 pages" with my usual "write a really messed-up first draft with at least one major plot point/POV that will need to be trashed."

But. Won't know for sure how well I did with this draft until I hear from readers and editor.

FWIW, I think you're fine and your books are amazing.

It's worth a lot.

Thank you.

[kateelliott.livejournal.com]

I love this post. In a resigned kind of love way. I was discussing the next book with my editor, and I may some kind of aside comment about making the next book a reasonable length and turning it in on time . . . and Editor said, more or less, why should i expect that when you've said it before and haven't made either one yet? In a nice way, mind you. Not a snarky way.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

Dinner with editor when? I think last March. I'll never forget the look on her face when I said I wanted to try to hand the book in early, a shred of hopefulness mixed with doubt. A lot of doubt.

I tried. But a brain that waits until a month before the book is due to figure out major plot and character issues is a brain that tends to not pay overmuch attention to what Conscious Me does.

[kateelliott.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's kind of depressing when you realize they don't believe you -- and that in fact, they're right to doubt. Due to previous experience. *sigh*

But we soldier onward! ever hopeful! This time it will be different!