Long and short of it

Incident is up to a shade over 5000 words as of this afternoon. Today, I liked the story. Some days, I don't like it as much. Probably par for the course.

Strange things happen when backstory becomes story. I want to insert a minor event into Incident that would, I think, add a little tweak to the story. Problem is, while the event is minor in scope, it wouldn't be minor to the two principles, both of whom would have been sure to recall it when they met again years later.

I'm still working on J5, and could insert something about it in there. Part of me likes the idea of doing that, but the rest of me isn't sure. We'll see.

In closing, a little more of the start of Incident. Thanks to trolleypup, who provided a few comments as to what he thought a dock might smell like...

********

The receiving dock stank of berries.

Raspberries, I think. Jani Kilian stared at the bright pink mess that spilled across the floor in front of her. With a hint of...what? Battery hyperacid, judging from the bitter tang. Add to that the melted plastic odor of evaporating sealant, backed by the ever-present undercurrent of stale station air.

Damn it. Above her, the dock alarms whirled like dervishes, sending wave after wave of red light breaking across the walls and ceiling.

Red.

Long and short of it

Incident is up to a shade over 5000 words as of this afternoon. Today, I liked the story. Some days, I don't like it as much. Probably par for the course.

Strange things happen when backstory becomes story. I want to insert a minor event into Incident that would, I think, add a little tweak to the story. Problem is, while the event is minor in scope, it wouldn't be minor to the two principles, both of whom would have been sure to recall it when they met again years later.

I'm still working on J5, and could insert something about it in there. Part of me likes the idea of doing that, but the rest of me isn't sure. We'll see.

In closing, a little more of the start of Incident. Thanks to trolleypup, who provided a few comments as to what he thought a dock might smell like...

********

The receiving dock stank of berries.

Raspberries, I think. Jani Kilian stared at the bright pink mess that spilled across the floor in front of her. With a hint of...what? Battery hyperacid, judging from the bitter tang. Add to that the melted plastic odor of evaporating sealant, backed by the ever-present undercurrent of stale station air.

Damn it. Above her, the dock alarms whirled like dervishes, sending wave after wave of red light breaking across the walls and ceiling.

Red.